When we speak of the wife obeying the husband, we normally think of obedience in military or political terms: the husband giving orders, and the wife obeying them.
But while this type of obedience may be appropriate in the army, it is ridiculous in the intimate relationship of marriage.
The obedient wife does not wait for orders.
Rather, she tries to discern her husband’s needs and feelings, and responds in love.
When she sees her husband is weary, she encourages him to rest; when she sees him agitated, she soothes him; when he is ill, she nurses and comforts him; when he is happy and elated, she shares his joy.
Yet such obedience should not be confined to the wife; the husband should be obedient in the same way.
When she is weary, he should relieve her of her work; when she is sad, he should cherish her, holding her gently in his arms; when she is filled with good cheer, he should also share her good cheer.
Thus a good marriage is not a matter of one partner obeying the other, but of both partners obeying each other.
-St John Chrysostom